Australia’s most bogan baby names of 2021 revealed

But every year, Aussie parents prove me wrong. Oh-so-wrong.

Best bogan names for girls

I have weird feelings about naming a child after the company that created Barbie. It’s not a particularly attractive word, so what’s the point here? Couldn’t we just go with Barbie or Skipper instead?

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Hello there baby Mattel. Picture: iStockSource:istock

SATIVA AND INDICA

One couple loved weed so much that they named their first daughter SaTiva after the strain of cannabis. Their friends’ snorting laughter wasn’t enough to deter them from calling their second daughter Indica – another strain of marijuana – 16 months later. Dope!

If you’re not familiar with Velveeta, it’s a processed fluoro substance popular in the US that some people call cheese but I consider to be more like plastic. Growing up in Canada, I actually cried the first time I saw the stuff at a friend’s house. My parents were hippies, so I was sheltered. Anyway, don’t call your kid Velveeta.

Oh, COME ON! You can’t just take any name and replace the first letter with a Z. Zatilda? Zeremy? Zelizabeth? Zames? Where does the madness end?!

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Crack a coldie! Picture: iStockSource:istock

New bogan trend alert: aggro boys’ names that end in -er. Examples include Heller, Shooter, Striker, Breaker, Danger and Dagger. I’m going to say NO to all of them.

Even though this is closer to the original spelling than Jaxxon, Jaxson or Jaxxyn, I somehow find it equally offensive. So close yet so annoyingly far…

Human 1: Let’s take the name of an exotic locale, mix the spelling up a bit to make it kooler and ruin our child’s life foreverrrrrr. Human 2: What do you think of Kanada for the next one?

Wadda legend! Picture: iStockSource:istock

Animal names including Fox, Wolf, Falcon, Bear and Hawk have been creeping up in popularity for a few years now. I feel like I’ve digested all of those and I’m semi-OK with them. But Lynxx with an extra X is simply unnecessary. It makes me think of those stinky men’s body sprays and I don’t. like. it.

Unless you’re a gangsta rapper’s pitbull, your name shouldn’t be a mash-up of Rolex and Lexus. (And no, Rollie is NOT a good nickname!)

This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced with permission